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foxy_beb
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Name: Farah
Location: Manila, Philippines
Birthday: 3/7/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: *modeling* volleyball* shopping *fashion *stilletos *friends *dancing *camera *pictures *balloons *massage *pink *green *movies *chocolates *music *B52 *familia ramos* **SVEN**
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Yahoo:  sassy_ira@yahoo.com
Member Since:
5/9/2005
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| Being a spontaneous individual, I joined Take Me Out (Philippines). It was an amazing experience. Yes, it is a dating show but I didn't really expect to end up having a date. I did three (3) episodes and all of the guys were celebrities.
And oh, I just really have to mention that it felt really nice to actually smile for hours. That's really something new for me. And it's apparent in the photos that I was too thrilled to smile so I ended up with a wide grin on the last photo. Haha!
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| July 1, 2010
June is my lucky month.
It was written in my goals for June 2010 that I am going to finally get a job that I want. A job that is related to the course I took in college, a job that will allow me to learn more about the craft that I am going to pursue, and a job that has a career path. I asked for a Marketing Assistant position. I wanted to start at the bottom to build the company’s trust so that when I get a higher position, I’d be able to fulfill my duties better. But luck gave me a bigger opportunity… I landed a higher position, which is being a Marketing Specialist.
I wanted independence, and I got it. I’ve always wanted to try living on my own, to learn how to stand on my own, be a responsible person, and be disciplined. Surprisingly, mom allowed me to live at a dorm in Taft together with 4 more dormmates (Rofel, Fatima, Rachelle, and Steph). My office is at the Bachrach Building in Manila and I live in Taft, Manila. My life started to become exciting once again.
Now I have the opportunity to think about my own welfare, to take care of myself, and to watch for myself. It’s all “me” now. I love challenges and I know I will be able to overcome this.
The independence that my mom granted me to have comes with big responsibilities. It also has something to do with being financially independent. I don’t want a fake independence, I want something real. However, I know it’s still not fully possible now, but I am at least taking baby steps. I am starting to save up thanks to Francisco Colayco, the author of “Pera Mo, Palaguin Mo.” He’s really inspiring and I’ve written my Financial Goals, I started taking notes of my expenses (soon I will start doing my Statement of Assets and Liabilities and invest). I feel so optimistic!
But while I am busy achieving my goals, I’m still not going to forget about my passion, my dream. I will see to it that I will get modeling stints whenever I am free. Maybe during the weekends.
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| Just an observation.
“Me” time from time to time. I enjoy being alone, just trying to assess my life.
But really, why do I really want to be by myself all the time? I keep saying that I am just weird that way.
Don’t you like the idea of just being with yourself? Doing things without minding other people. Doing anything you want and not being judged… Not minding rules, being carefree. The independence, the freedom.
I tell you this. I honestly like being alone because I don’t think there’s anyone out there who would 100% understand any other person… even one’s insanities, dramas and all. Yes, people would listen to your rants and problems but up to what extent?
Sometimes you just don’t need people to make you feel that they are trying to understand your world. You don’t need that. Full acceptance that you are a unique person is enough.
I enjoy being alone. Because who really cares? Let’s stop the bullcrap. No one really cares.
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| Life never fails to surprise me.
You normally put a period (.) when you end things. But why do some people let things linger?
It’s just very inconsiderate and selfish to still ask for friendship when you end things with someone special. Both parties need time and space to accept what happened, to heal, and to forgive. When you’ve moved on, that’s the time it’s possible for them to stay in touch again and be friends.
Two steps forward, one step back. I guess it happens to make life fair, to make things balanced.
There are people who are continuously searching… Why do you always have to look for someone? Why don’t you just let things happen? You will soon find that someone even if you’re not looking for him/her. Why do you always have to be with someone? Aren’t you brave and mature enough to stand being alone without feeling lonely?
But then, another revelation unveiled. And yet again, life never fails to surprise me.
Why do people SHARE or RECYCLE? I just find it disgusting.
Wouldn’t it make you feel weird hanging out with both someone your dating and someone he/ she used to date? Lame. Disgusting.
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| ...words that I heard from you. BUT why did it end up this way?
I realized just now that I like you…
Flashback. That night I didn’t protest, I just agreed. I tried to pretend that it was a mutual feeling, it was a mutual decision. That I felt the same thing and wanted the same thing. Yes, I did feel the same thing. But it doesn’t mean I also wanted it to end just like how you wanted it to be.
I just can’t get over the fact that it didn’t last long. Things went so fast… I didn’t even get a chance to ponder, to assess. I didn’t get to feel if I only liked the company or if I really liked you.
It’s really true what they say, “you will realize things in the end.” I did realize that I like you. I still do. And now these tears are here because of so many questions that I wanted to be answered. “Why didn’t you take a chance?,” “Why didn’t you take a moment to assess things?,” “Why didn’t we take time to know each other a little bit more?”
My past taught me how not to believe in the possibility of love. Love can’t be real. It’s just an illusion and the illusion will soon come to an end. You proved me wrong at first. I thought that it was possible. But after everything we’ve been through, you just gave me all the reasons to believe that I was right before.
I know that our relationship is something that one person won’t consider real. It was maybe just a fling. But I don’t consider it that way. I am true to my feelings and I don’t lie to my heart. I like you so much that it hurts. You didn’t like me that much to be able to adjust even for a couple more months.
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